Dear Tattered Angel,
Yes, sometimes the nights can be long when you awake in the middle of the night multiple times to beckon to parents who are already exhausted from continuing sleepless nights as described in my last letter, Sleepless nights; however the end of the evening can be full of priceless silent moments when I am able to just lie there next to you as you peacefully sleep. One can often put much of there life in perspective in meditation as they listen to the rhythmic breathing of a sleeping child while gazing on their innocent face.
Each night with the arrival of bedtime, I carry you in my arms up stairs placing you into your bed. Each time you always plead for daddy to lie next to you until you fall asleep. Once you have convinced me to stay with you by patting the pillow next to your head, pleading "Daddy sleep now", the evenings greatest play written and composed by a child who believes each carefully planned act will maintain her control of the situation begins to be acted out . You carefully position your hands under your head while resting on your back, taking a deep breath then closing your eyes. Some nights the activities of the day have exhausted your reserves and you drift off to sleep within seconds of brushing your hair with my finger tips. Other nights your willingness to lay still is lost in constant wiggling, tossing, and turning. When my patience has run thin, you briskly return to a position of pretend sleep whispering, "Okay, dad, I sleep." Almost no time passes when your eyelids slowly open, a small grin begins to break at the corner of your lips as a small hand reaches over to brush my cheek, followed by a remorseful child, "I sorry daddy, I sorry." Immediately I reply, "Aleena, just go to sleep!" Seeing your first attempt to soften the rules has done little to weaken my resolve, you switch your tactics to tightly closing your eyes as you continue playing with your arms and hands with stuffed toys, blankets, and pillows. Right away, you are reminded of dad's expectations as I instruct you, "Aleena, night-night time." Your arms drop to your sides as you apologetically whisper, "okay daddy, okay." Over and over we play and replay these scenes until eventually you drift off to sleep.