Monday, February 7, 2011

"I Dancing"

Dear Little Angel,

Today I wanted to give you a glimpse into your innocent perfect world.  Before your surgery as we watched a movie you loved to dance at the end as the final credits rolled.  You would invite...or should I say, insist that everyone get up and dance with you.  If someone wasn't paying attention and changed the channel you would with all the courage of a two year old, who knows what they want, inform everyone, "hey....I dancing".  Your cast has done nothing to slow your dancing the credits play your little leg that is free from the cast, wildly kicks back and forth, up and down.  If I ask you what you are doing you tell me, "I dancing." 

If people ask, what happens if we don't do the surgery, what would be the long term effects, we tell them you possible won't dance.  The doctor has told us that although you have a chance to be somewhat normal, the odds are you could have serious pain and possibly never dance or jump.  As parents we were faced with the difficult decision to take what we saw as a perfect happy child and tie her down for half of a year or more, for the chance that we might be able to avoid severe pain later in your life.  If these surgeries are your only chance at dancing then forward we must go.  I don't know how to explain to a two year old who use to dance, run, and swim that these next few months are for you to find happiness later in life.  Your perspective is only what is happening right now in this moment.  As a father I will never be able to have you understand what beauty lies on the other side of this mountain you must now climb. But climb you must.  Parents of children can only understand the extreme pain and tears that come when they must make decisions for their children who have been in this position...looking forward with hope to what might be, but always with the realization in the forefront of their mind of what can happen.

Sunday, while watching the half time music, you wildly rocked your chair back and forth kicking your leg.  Yes, my your world, in your own way you were dancing.  Your mother and I could hardly stop laughing as you noticed the weeble-wobble was rocking back and forth on the top of your desk, and you enthusiastically proclaimed..."Look weeble-wobble dancing"

Music has always been something that has raised your spirit and unburied my smile.


Janalee said...

I did not have the same problem as Aleena when I was born, however, the decisions that my parents made for me gave me my freedom to walk, run, play sports and live a life with no outward signs of problems. I know there will be tough times. I know there will be tears, yours and hers. I also know that the Lord will bless you with strength and courage when you need it most. I send you my love. Aunt Jana

TheFischerFam said...

Those are some great thoughts and feelings you shared! Aleena, you just keep on dancing. You can do it.